RIGHT CHARLIE

the arts - it's all there is left!

2011-06-03T23:46:00.002Z

if they don't invest in that then they may as well give up, you can't a machine to dance the swan lake - well you can, but not as well...

well actually you could, given the time....

note to self.... robotic ballet, the next big thing...

prefer to see humans doing it though, honest i would....

that thing on bbc news 24hrs/ a day in the life of the ballet guy, worth seeing on iplayer..

if an airplane crashes into my house

2011-05-22T22:02:00.001Z

tonight, tell everyone it wasn;t an accident

if im not around....

ask the powerful five questions

2011-02-05T20:26:00.001Z

what power have they got?

where did they get it from?

in whose interests do they exercise it?

to whom are they accountable?

how can we get rid of them?

it won't be just lil' brown kids gaspin' for air...

2011-02-05T14:59:00.001Z

Hill@ry's speech on eqyp+, read between the lines;

http://thechronicleherald.ca/Front/9019748.html

- choice of language from her; the perfect storm brewing, sinking into the sand, strategic neccesity, the status quo is simply not sustainable etc.

i tell you, if she and her type are anywhere near the operating system for h@@rp come 2012, you and your family are fucked. any promises they made to you are just lies. deal with it now, while you can. if it looks like a duck...

choice

2011-02-05T14:12:00.001Z

.. - ... / . --.. / ..--- / -.. -.-. .. -.. . / .-- .. -.-. .... / .-- .- -.-- / ..--- / --. --- / .-- .... . -. / -.-- --- ..- / -... .- - .... / .- - / -. .. - . / ..- .-. / ..-. . . - / .... ..- .-. - / .--- ..- ... - / .- ... -.- / ..- .-. ... . .-.. ..-. / .-- ..- -.. / ..- / .-. .- - .... .- / -... / .-- .. ...- / -.. / -... .- -.-. - . .-. .. .- / .-- .... --- / -.-. .-. . .- - . / -.. / .--. .- .. -. / --- .-. / .-- .. ...- / -.. .- / -.-. .-. . .- -- / ..--- / .... . .-.. .--. / ..- / .-. ..- -. / ..-. .- ... - / .--. .-. --- - . -.-. - / ..- .-. ... . .-.. ..-. / -. / ..- .-. / ..-. .- -- .. .-.. -.-- / .---- ... - / -. / .-- . -. / ..- / .... ...- . / .-.. --- -.-. -.- . -.. / .- .-.. .-.. / - .... . / -.. --- -.. --. -.-- / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- . .-. ... / ..- .--. / .-- . / -.-. .- -. / - .- .-.. -.- .-.-.- / .-. . -- -... . .-. / .. ..-. / .. - / .-- .- .-.. -.- ... / .-.. .. -.- . / .- / -.. ..- -.-. -.- / . - -.-. / .--. .- ... ... / - .... . / ... --- .- .--.

my nicked car

2011-02-02T06:17:00.000Z

not sure which of you spooks is watching this case or if you even know they got it but it already had a tracker on from one of you, not sure which
or it may be be just the local gangsters who's mother I got cross at because she illegally parked or mayeb the god squad because they woke me up on a sunday morning- if so just have a word would you, i gave the reg number of the guy who was involved with the taking of it to them about an hour ago.
do some detecting, detective please and remember family first eh.....
or of course it could be you who took it mi5, cia, blha blah just to wind me up, again only this time it didn't work because i want a new motor anyway; you may have solved a problem........

chill man for fucks sake its only a lump of metal

Illuminati

2011-01-27T02:14:00.004Z

whilst you're about it, all you illuminati and freemason types who are running like fuck and hiding for cover as the guns come out for the murdoch press and those scattered across tunisia and the rest of north africa, oh and Greece - and it'll spread; once human nature becomes involved you can be certain they'll be fireworks, why not hand in you silly fucking robes, cancel the direct debit and start looking out for your own family; cos you can be sure as shit stinks, they'll be putting theirs first and before they think of you. did you think of that?

survival of the fittest.

secrecy has no place in modern society secret, ask JFX - or at least look up his speech, , search 'the president who told the truth'

those at the top the 33 degrees - even they don't know what's really going on, i guarantee you. - well four of them think they do.

I do.

I get my news from the fourth dimension.

I'm telling you, and i know you read this, tell your mates - it's going to get iffy. what comes first?somewhere for the family to be safe; i.e planet, house really.

then what is left of family

then you.

or maybe you first then family depends how you all get on i guess..

I'm unemotional family wise.- my alleged family fucked me over, but that's earth people for you.

Puns for the brightest button

2011-01-14T15:32:00.001Z

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned
out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because
it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be
stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for
littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said
to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the
Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your
count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and
says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The
other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a
root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope
that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten
did.

sky buys out virgin

2010-06-05T03:17:00.001Z

and nobody cares? Richard Branson sells out, how fucking tragic

for gods sake

2010-06-05T03:06:00.000Z

why don't they just drop tons of gravel on it, how many fucking times do i have to tell you!

the oil spill, i told everyone how to solve the fucking problem, does no one open their mail?

luckily i can prove i sent them. so i guess those who handled the mail and didn't act upon it can kiss their promotions goodbye at least!

The Button (The Box spoof)

2010-05-15T23:17:00.000Z

in lieu of a Christmas card...

2009-12-15T12:38:00.001Z

Please accept with no obligation,
implied or implicit my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious,
socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral
celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practised within the most
enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion or secular practices of
your choice, with respect for the
religious / secular persuasions and /
or traditions of others, or their
choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all.

Merry merry, charles W

only to get a Pro forma reply

2009-09-13T22:12:00.001Z

The Right Honourable Mr Gordon Brown

The Prime Minister

10 Downing Street

London

SW1A 2AA

Dear Prime Minister

I have today written to Her Majesty The Queen, His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales, The Leader of Her Majesty's Opposition and a number of other relevant incumbent authorities to ask that they support my petition for a new national holiday;

'Neighbour Day'. Some or all of these people may, I hope, write to you independently about this matter.

I shall, in due course, engage the media and the Downing Street online petition in my campaign but out of courtesy to you feel it only appropriate to allow for your reply.

I ask Sir, that you look kindly upon my advocacy of 'Neighbour Day', indeed I feel that its implementation may very well be a defining moment of governance – a brave step by a brave leader that may well improve our society, indeed the world, for the better.

A legacy indeed, and a model that could inspire and encourage other nations and communities.

We are all aware of the importance of communication; facilitating discourse and integration within modern fractured society can only be a positive step and were the government to set the lead in creating a framework, society would, I am sure leap at the chance to contribute for the greater good.

Modern life provides for little neighbourly interaction and this I feel is the root of many of its ills.

Whilst a cheery disposition might allow for individual navigation of societies hurdles there are precious few opportunities nowadays to interact at any deep level with those who share our neighbourhoods.

Many of life's traditional conduits of communication have disappeared; pubs, post offices, libraries and the like are in decline – not through fault but through evolution - and yet the popularity of 'virtual communities' demonstrates the longing we all have, at some level, to just get along with one and other.

There are tiny neighbourhood day events around and about but precious few people know of them – certainly it is my belief that in declaring a new national holiday 'Neighbour Day' we could breath new life into community spirit and regeneration.

Telethons like 'Children in Need' and 'Red Nose Day' demonstrate ably the willingness of the nation to embrace co-operation and put aside differences. By harnessing and directing that energy, and involving the whole nation, you could enable the paradigm shift entire communities have been longing for.

In my own area the cultures and ethnicity is varied and diverse – I have no great complaints of my neighbours and I hope they none of me; but I do wonder how, willing though I am, I might ever engage with them.

There is a Mosque at the end of my road, and though not terribly religious, I did want a look round, and the people there were so pleased to show me. But going and asking was a huge big deal, I know of no other person who has done the same.

There are people in my road whom I would love the opportunity to chat with - but short of an occasional wave or alarming them there is no opportunity to do so – you might think there are events, there simply aren't. And who would go to a single one-off even if there were? Create it as a norm, something everyone did and one might feel left out if one didn't engage.

Imagine then this public holiday, backed by the media where we create an ethos to rival the great American Thanksgiving; where they cook turkey and invite family, we have a barbecue (or finger buffet!) and invite neighbours.

Where the village fete atmosphere can be again found once again in villages but also in sink estates, where boundary disputes are put aside over a can of beer or a cup of tea.

Where people who might wonder about the lives of others can learn to put their fears aside, and find out that by and large we're all pretty much the same anyway. What happened in Northern Ireland came about from the willingness to engage – I believe there is a willingness but no mechanism and that sure is where good government comes in.

This whole idea needs little more explanation – it can work and it will work but it needs great bravery and leadership to implement; the best ideas are often the simplest; you only have to look at text messaging, no one predicted that!

Mr Brown, I believe the time is right to put the challenge to the public of this country; the challenge to rise up with that once familiar collective sprit which makes Britain really great - to show to others and the world that we are inclusive, that we are one people, one nation and, indeed one world.

It doesn't take the greatest leap of imagination to see how one could further the ideals on an international scale – embracing neighbours, near and far in an inclusive dialogue is the way to effect change.

Instead of dropping bombs, perhaps for just one day a year, America might follow our lead and start dropping laptops.

Seize the nettle Mr Brown; history will, I am certain, reward you.

Yours sincerely

Charles A Webber

थिस कोउल्ड वर्क

2009-09-02T13:50:00.002Z

depleting fish stocks

2009-07-25T19:39:00.001Z

Just for the record and so you know, you illuminati types, my magnificent brain has come up with a solution for the restoration of fish stocks on the global scale and one that would be some kind of cash cow
I''m not going to publish it, not yet, as, when the dust has settled, post WCE, it could be my get out of jail free card.
I'd much rather be on the inside looking out than on the outside trying to peer in....
Love ya
cx

world peace?

2008-12-13T20:52:00.001Z

World Peace/Defeating terrorism

Firstly you have to understand that you have to fill the vacuum a peace of any sort might create.

You have to give the generals and admirals something WORTHWHILE to do – they are a kind of people who have to seen to be making the world a better place.

To this end I have two proposals:

1) Some of the funds saved be directed towards colonisation of the moon. I know it sounds loony but if you think about it a) we should in case we get hit by a comet and b) it would make a great launch pad for future space ventures.

So some military folk become astronaught solider types ground staff etc guarding the bases blah blah, get to be space heros etc make their folks proud (this is VERY important - the air force fly the space craft, the navy – well we'll always need a navy because of pirates. but they recover shit that gets dropped into the sea like in the olden days of the Apollo missions (you don't need to land the shuttle every time, just have it drop the moon waste out at sea) – we need to keep them busy We do otherwise they will want a war.

Make colonisation of the moon the most important thing we have ever seen – which I have to say I think it is.

(I already told the Chinese they should do it, just to pee the Americans off and because I would LOVE to see it happen in my lifetime but I don't think they read the web posting bless 'em)

and

2) Create a peace corps. An army of men who go worldwide to earn medals not for killing but for saving lives. (to make their folks proud) Think about it. Who is REALLY the bigger hero, the guy who machine-gunned ten Arabs or the one who found a water source in the desert?

What you do is you go into places like Somalia (desperate for help) and not give them fish, but give them fishing rods.

What I mean by this is all the funding that gets sent in aid, stop it – just give them the aid, not the money – which corrupts.

The Peace Corps go in, they build roads, bridges hospitals schools, they train managers, and then they leave. That's it, pure and simple. They MUST leave.

No strings, no debt anything. And then give them medals, (the corps) make them heroes.

If they want to fight, give them boxing matches or have them join the apply to be on gladiators (or join the police)

So that said, how do you beat terrorism?

Play them at their own game.

Win the propaganda war.

No need for secret dialogue; bring it out in the open make it so public all the world and would-be suicide bombers see what is being said.

i.e: Bin laden makes a youtube video – they all whoop and holler?

So imagine if the new president of the USA goes on youtube (and EVERY TV CHANEL IN THE WORLD and says

"the killing has to stop – your people are dying (show shots of their dead, wailing mothers and kids) – so are ours (show shots of our dead – wailing mothers and kids)

It has to stop. Tell us what you want us to do to stop the killing, reply by video blah blah and we will tell you, if you promise to stop the killing when we will do what you want or tell you why its just not possible to do as you ask – though if you are reasonable, we will try.

We are trying to be reasonable with you – if you are reasonable with us, maybe we can all enjoy a better life and some peace and quiet etc."

Then wait for the reply – his followers will want to see how he responds – he'll be fanatical of course, but then just NICE HIM TO DEATH

Reply publicly again, be ultra nice, ultra kind and just either meet his needs/wants – those you can, or politely ridicule his demands.

"Well Mister Bin laden, we have considered your demand for ten million dollars but the American public will not stand for me rewarding terrorism – but what I will do is give your country TWENTY million dollars in real hard aid, schools and hospitals and roads and trust this will be enough to bring your campaign to an end. We can start work next Friday if that is convenient with you. Please reply by video to say if you agree or indeed, why, if you cannot, Peace be with you, blah blah."

His followers will see he's a nuuter and drift away – some may even turn him in.

Do what you can to meet some of his demands though – you know so it's not all just win.

Game over.

Another great idea from the mid of a genius.

eureka

2008-12-12T08:15:00.003Z

eureka

EUREKA: WORLD CHANGING ENERGY IDEA.

See in your mind, four concepts coming together:

1) Electric cars

2) Grand Prix pits stops and unit changers.

3) Camping gas refills (empty one in, full one out)

4) Generic Batteries.

The problem with the electric car in the past has been range, how far you can get before you run out of fizz.

If the gas stations offer a pit stop style service (Jobs and future) with a generic battery which comes out of the car like a drawer in a chest of drawers (I can't draw very well but I can see it in my mind) then the problem is solved.

A driver comes in, they open the hood, drop down the front and slide out the generic battery - like a big pack of cigarettes on a slider tray perhaps for the bigger cars. Like a spare wheel hung on the back door of an SUV on smaller cars. I think you could do it in about 90 seconds if you were in a hurry and the gas stations had the trained staff.

On motorcycles – the space where the fuel tank used to be becomes the removable replaceable generic battery.

The attendant takes your old battery (which is on a rotating permanent lease to you as an as-new unit, or some such thing) fits you a fully charged replacement, charges you for the charge and pit-stop and you're on your way. He puts your dead battery on charge and fits it to another vehicle later that day. He tests the batteries regularly to make sure no one gets a dud.

Easy peasy lemon squeezee

Of course you could go on ad infinitum – electric aeroplanes with wings shaped as generic batteries, you land, about a hundred men are employed taking the wings off and popping new ones on.

Gosh, getting people back to work? How would that help the economy? Fares remain about the same because of the labour, everyone's happy.

You can even get the electricity for free (or nuclear if you are brave – my laptop battery and a glass of water could power my house for seven years if we did)

Electricity from the sun:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/6616651.stm

Up and running in Spain, the technology will get cheaper over time.

(we can talk about photovoltaic paint on road surfaces at a later date)

Electric cars:

We can already get 250 miles in a regular shaped car, one that does 0-60 in 4 seconds and does 135mph.

This one good enough for you? http://www.teslamotors.com/

Electric Aeroplanes: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=fWoLsJz8J5U

Early technology – but proof they will work.

Battery technology: http://www.technologyreview.com/biztech/18086/

Junkie

2008-01-03T00:12:00.000Z

I know I've seen you lookin'

When I'm rollin' up me spliff

But dude I'm not a junkie

It simply helps me live

I know it's not important

havin' others see

but I like the sense of street cred

audience bestows on me.

I'll roll one on the park bench

maybe smoke it in the yard

I love it when you see me

it makes me feel quite hard

And in case there's any doubting

'bout how tough I really am

I leave the smell of cat piss

everywhere I can....

London

2007-11-25T12:09:00.001Z

London

There's a space in my room

Where you can cut out all the gloom

Where you can

if you try

See nothing

but sky

I was asked to trade a good idea for a good idea..

2007-11-24T19:32:00.001Z

all right well, ideas you asked for not theories and im guessing you're a pretty intelligent fellow already so i don't need to go into the why's an wherefore 's to make you believe that technically, it is going to be possible one day, in the not too distant, to get all of the information from all of the books ever written anywhere onto one grain of sand - when they, you know, make micro chips so small an all - so like everything ever recorded could theoretically be carried around on something the size of a full stop. Your flash drive sort of miniaturised to death if you will.

SO, if you can get all of that information into something so tichy, mechanically, methinks it stands to reason that, mother nature being so much better than us as making robots, has probably got an option of her own already and you could, in theory, transfer all of ones brain capacity in a tiny sliver software file of gloop or DNA. If i made a baby tomorrow - isn't it entirely reasonable that somewhere in that baby are records of everything I have come across up until that point?

Now of course we are but tadpoles on the evolutionary scale of things BUT, one should consider that SOME of our DNA make up MUST go back millennia and one wonders if, when some nerdy type on TV is seen wandering around a farm going "i have been here before, my name was sam, i was a boat builder" that he IS actually telling the truth. and a part of him WAS there and he had somehow accessed those hidden software files. Perhaps time travel along our DNA strands, backwards of course, is actually possible. Only in terms of accessing memory and existence of course, one couldn't actually do anything hollywood like I don't suppose

You know when the shamans take drugs to 'commune with their ancestors' don't you wonder if they are having a good old route through their memory banks - Im tempted to wonder if, with the right drugs and hypnosis one couldn't actually do it?

Interesting idea about the light; the days when our roads are coated in photovoltaic paint to provide the power to run our cars and cities can't really be far away.

(no subject)

2007-11-24T11:08:00.001Z

Odi profanum vulgus et arceo

Short film I made

2007-11-19T12:40:00.002Z

I got this GREAT idea

2007-11-16T08:56:00.001Z

I got this G R E A T idea.

I got this great idea

A story don't ya know

'll make me loadsa wonga

lotsa lovely dough

I gotta keep it secret

So store it in me 'ed

But I need to get a writer

to write down what I said

So if you wanna make a fortune

just drop a dandy line

and when we've made our zillions

we'll 'av a gud old time

This is why I Love England

2007-11-15T10:09:00.002Z

Really I'm over the Crown & Sword thing but I do have a lot of time for our old Queen, I mean I don't wish them any harm or anything, I dont want to chop off their heads and that but, I think really Monarchy's per se, have you know, had their day, so to say.

I do acknowledge and love the history that got us to where we are today though and that's why i went to see all the Queen's horses and all the Queen's men the other day.

And I saw these two and it just made me so proud to be British, not that i ever do the flag thumping thing but you know im proud of the standards i was brought up with and it was in britain so i guess that's what i have to be thankful for - some of it has to be traceable back to you know Britain - whatever, I'm rambling now.

I mean the state opening of parliament it was and there - before the old Queenie came back - was this officer straightening the hat of one of his men, and for just a second i saw the world as it could one day be.

a place of love and respect and compassion of order and dignity and just utter loveliness. In the taking of that photo i understood why on sunday we do that poppy day thing - so we can ALL be free, so, and forgive me for this, that black men can tell white men what to do.

And not because some are black and some are white but because they got there on their own merit.

Now im sorry to the officer in the pic for even mentioning his tone but I hope he'll forgive me for doing so because i just wanted to say that really he made me feel as if i belonged to something quite important yesterday - in fact, i wouldn't be surprised if, because of him and his solider with the squiffy cap, if come a referendum on the bloomin' monarchy i might even tick the box to let them run for another hundred years.

anyway shortly after the Queen came by and i got some great photos but i confess, this is the one i like the best....

Wondering

2007-11-15T09:56:00.001Z

I wonder if I'll wonder

Then I wonder if I will

Wonder whilst I'm wondering

If my wondering'll make me ill.

Rubbish

2007-11-15T09:24:00.000Z

Mr Dustbin Man
With your dustbin sack
With your bouncing bottles
On your day-glo back

May I thank you Sir
For the job that you do
For keeping it clean and
Clearing my view.

Poppy

2006-12-10T22:01:00.001Z

I regret

That I haven't bought a poppy yet

They're all over TV

but there isn't as yet, one on me

Looked around and tried to buy

To support the mums and dad who cry

I want to wear that red with pride

it wasn't, thank God, mine who died

I'll get one soon

of that I'm sure

Regardless how I feel 'bout war

It isn't that they chose to die

they gave their lives & didn't ask why

So do your best like me to find

the lil' red flower that does remind

us of the price there is to pay

for freedom in your world today.

Top Website needs Top writers for Top jobs

2006-12-10T21:53:00.001Z

I’m openin' up a website

I think it'll do alwight

but I need to get some writers

who'll submit most every night

I won't be payin' nuffink

to start with I mean at least

we gotta get it rolling

& tame the angry beast

But sure we got a future

we'll be sharing out all the dosh

once I got me writers

working under cosh

So if you wanna make it

mail your stuff to me

I'll put it on my website

for me mum to see

and once we got the trafiic

and revenue comin' by

you'll thank your lucky stars

that the limit is the sky

Fairyland, a hakiu

2006-12-05T16:30:00.001Z

Wild open space you

Beckon with your untold secrets of

Ice Fire and Creation

Tick Tock

2006-12-04T19:34:00.001Z

You dare not jump

And I can no longer push

This meedal mendall nonsense.

On a raft of love

Our problems would

Float away.

If only.

The dirdy gays

2006-12-02T18:47:00.000Z

Response to an online bigot

I thort i'd write about them gays
their bendin' over
and naughty ways

a part of me
it makes me sick
but the other part wonders
what makes 'em tick

I think if i moan
and scream and shout
I'll never bend over
or have to come out

but them queers it seems
they ain't that dumb
so I'd best get ready
and lube me bum.